Two New Additions To
The Periodic Table Of Elements

Element: WOMAN
Symbol: Wo
Atomic Weight: 120 +/-

Physical Properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may
freeze anytime. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.

Chemical Properties: Very active. Possesses strong affinity to gold,
silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb
great amount of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed beside a better
specimen. Ages rapidly.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for disintegration of
wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

Element: MAN
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: 180 +/- 100

Physical Properties: Solid at room temperature but easily gets bent
out of shape. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample.
Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young,
fresh samples.

Chemical Properties: Attempt to bond with Wo any chance it can get.
Also, tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed
with Kd (element Kid) for prolonged period of time. Pretty basic.
Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None really, except methane production. Good samples are
able to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of Wo, this element rapidly decomposes and
begins to smell.

Hahahaha! Take Me back To The Rubber Room!

Questions? Comments? E-Mail Red at

copyright notice